Talking To Your
Discussing Home Care
With Your Loved One
Have a Plan
Some suggested methods to deal with
• If your loved one’s health and/or
safety are at issue, say so, and push the
• Involve others, such as clergy,
physicians or a geriatric care manager.
• Use community resources, like Meals
onWheels or free consultations with
a home care agency, to help everyone
ease into the “care at home” process.
• Focus on your loved one’s issues, not
just the concerns of others. They will be
much more accepting if you both share
similar wishes and concerns.
Strength in Numbers
It’s wise to have the family discuss care
prior to having the loved one attend a
family meeting on the subject. This gives
the family an opportunity to get on the
same page, which will help to show your
loved one that all of you are concerned
about similar issues.
After the initial family meeting with your loved
one where everyone has had the opportunity
to express their feelings and thoughts, gently
suggest that they make an appointment with their
physician or a geriatric psychologist for a thorough
evaluation. This professional evaluation can go a
long way in helping them decide that they could
use some assistance in their home.
Avoid nagging your loved one about this
evaluation – simply plant the seed and water it
from time to time. Eventually, most elders realize
that they cannot care for themselves as they used
to. Speaking with a doctor seems to make this
Finally, be direct and speak with them about having
a home care agency come to their home and meet
with them. This will allow your loved one to get
a sense of exactly what such an agency can do
for them. Focus this meeting on what a caregiver
from an agency does; be specific about the tasks a
caregiver will and won’t perform. Let them know
that they are still in control and that the home care
process can add significantly to everyone’s peace
Treat them as an equal – don’t parent! Remember,
your job is to help themmake those decisions, not
to make decisions for them.
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