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Talking To Your

Loved One

Discussing Home Care

With Your Loved One

Have a Plan

Some suggested methods to deal with

resistance are:

• If your loved one’s health and/or

safety are at issue, say so, and push the

discussion forward.

• Involve others, such as clergy,

physicians or a geriatric care manager.

• Use community resources, like Meals

onWheels or free consultations with

a home care agency, to help everyone

ease into the “care at home” process.

• Focus on your loved one’s issues, not

just the concerns of others. They will be

much more accepting if you both share

similar wishes and concerns.

Strength in Numbers

It’s wise to have the family discuss care

prior to having the loved one attend a

family meeting on the subject. This gives

the family an opportunity to get on the

same page, which will help to show your

loved one that all of you are concerned

about similar issues.

Moving Forward

After the initial family meeting with your loved

one where everyone has had the opportunity

to express their feelings and thoughts, gently

suggest that they make an appointment with their

physician or a geriatric psychologist for a thorough

evaluation. This professional evaluation can go a

long way in helping them decide that they could

use some assistance in their home.

Avoid nagging your loved one about this

evaluation – simply plant the seed and water it

from time to time. Eventually, most elders realize

that they cannot care for themselves as they used

to. Speaking with a doctor seems to make this

decision easier.

Finally, be direct and speak with them about having

a home care agency come to their home and meet

with them. This will allow your loved one to get

a sense of exactly what such an agency can do

for them. Focus this meeting on what a caregiver

from an agency does; be specific about the tasks a

caregiver will and won’t perform. Let them know

that they are still in control and that the home care

process can add significantly to everyone’s peace

of mind.

Stay Positive

Treat them as an equal – don’t parent! Remember,

your job is to help themmake those decisions, not

to make decisions for them.



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Bryn Mawr, PA 19010

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