CHECKLIST FOR A "CARE"-VERSATION WITH YOUR PARENT'S DOCTOR

How well your Mom or Dad communicates with his or her doctor can have a big impact on their health care. Unfortunately, talking to the doctor isn’t always easy for an older person. Often loved ones are afraid to ask questions, voice their concerns, and get suggestions.

In 2017, we have a digital driven, high tech, medical environment where treatments are touted on TV and many health care questions are answered by Google or WebMD. So it makes sense that today’s patient - doctor relationship is more of a working partnership. As folks age, it becomes more important than ever to talk often, and feel comfortable with their doctor because they have more medical conditions and treatments to discuss. Having an extra pair of eyes and ears, as well as moral support and someone to take notes can be very helpful, so consider accompanying your parent to the doctor’s office. Help your Senior parent have a “care”-versation with their doctor! Use this checklist to support them in taking an active role in their healthcare at the next appointment with their physician or geriatrician.

1. Before Your Parent’s Doctor Visit
   1. Listen to, and then make a list of the health concerns they have to take with you. Encourage them to be truthful – being honest about how you are feeling is not “weakness,” and does NOT make you a “complainer!”
   2. Write down all that has transpired since their last visit. Note what conditions have changed, what new symptoms have appeared, how their medication is working, any tests or treatments since the last visit per other physicians consulted.
   3. Bring a complete list of any medications they are currently taking.
   4. Find out ahead of time if they will need to give a urine sample, skip breakfast because of a blood test, or have an X-ray/MRI beforehand and then bring the images along.
   5. If this is a NEW doctor, be sure to have their complete medical history sent to the medical office ahead of time.

       

2. During the Doctor Visit
   1. Be sure your loved one shares as much information with the doctor as possible about their habits and routine, from what they eat to how they sleep, and what changes have recently occurred.
   2. Remind them not to belittle, or leave out any symptoms or changes because they think them unimportant. The frequency, severity, and what brought them on needs to brought to the doctor’s attention.
   3. Review with the doctor all current medications, possible side effects or interactions with other medicines and over the counter drugs.
   4. Make sure your parent is open about their mental and emotional state as well as their physical issues. Talk about any life changes they recently experienced such as selling their house and moving, or death of a loved one. Depression and anxiety are real, and can cause symptoms or mimic medical conditions.

       

3. When a Diagnosis is Made
   1. TAKE NOTES!
   2. Find out what medical tests are needed and why, what it might cost, and how best to prepare for the test. How long will it be before you get the results?
   3. If you are bringing your parents to the doctor to discuss results from tests already taken, make sure the doctor explains what the results mean, what may have caused the condition, and how long it may last. Can it be cured? Treated or managed?
   4. If the doctor prescribes a medication, find out the dosing directions and whether there are any restrictions while taking it. Address possible side effects, what to do if a dose is forgotten, or refills are needed.
   5. If your parent must make an immediate decision regarding a treatment for a serious illness, be sure they thoroughly discuss the choices and options with the doctor, including the risks, benefits, timing, and co-pays.

       

4. Before You Leave the Doctor’s Office
   1. Ask if the doctor has any brochures or educational resources related to your parent’s medical condition, or the medications and treatments he has prescribed.
   2. Ask what proactive changes Mom or Dad might need to make to their lifestyle and daily habits to improve health and well-being.

Adult children must remember not to dismiss a loved one’s medical symptoms as “normal aging!” Dementia is sometimes a misdiagnosed physical condition that can be reversed. Not all tremors mean Mom or Dad has Parkinson’s, but early diagnosis of both dementia and Parkinson’s, and many other illness, is extremely important – so it is critical to discuss, not dismiss, symptoms with the doctor. Keep in mind that private duty homecare services can also have a positive impact on your parents’ health. A Home Health Agency can provide transportation and companionship for doctor visits when a family member is not available, as well as another set of eyes and ears that can report back to you. If the doctor feels your parent would benefit from additional assistance with their daily routine, an agency can coordinate with the doctor to provide a caregiver or companion to help at home while they are recovering, under treatment, or dealing with post-operative protocols.

Till Next Time!

Irv Seldin, JD, President and Owner, Visiting Angels of the Palm Beaches

This article is not intended as medical, legal, or financial advice.