Avoid These Four Common Mistakes When Caring for Aging Parents
Most adults look forward to supporting their parents should they need help as they age. Many view this as an opportunity to pay back the many sacrifices their parents made during their upbringing. This role not only allows for more togetherness but also creates opportunities for deeper bonds and the chance to create meaningful moments.
However, while caregiving can be fulfilling, it’s also filled with challenges. The demands involved put any family caregiver at risk for caregiver burnout—a state of overwhelming physical, mental, and emotional strain. If you’re a family caregiver or might be stepping into the role in the future, it’s important that you take steps in order to mitigate the toll of caregiving on your well-being while also fostering the connection between yourself and Mom or Dad. Below are four common mistakes to avoid when caring for aging parents.
Neglecting Self-Care
One of the most common mistakes adult children make when caring for their aging parents is neglecting their own self-care. Family caregivers often put themselves last while simultaneously overcommitting themselves to family, caregiving, and work responsibilities. This puts caregivers at risk for burnout and can also put a strain on the relationship between the caregiver and their aging parent. Family caregivers need to make time for themselves, safeguarding their own physical, emotional, and mental health. To avoid this mistake, family caregivers need to give themselves a regular break from caregiving responsibilities. Use the time away to do something that refreshes you, such as participating in a fitness class at the YMCA of Greater Richmond or painting pottery at All Fired Up.
Ignoring Personal Boundaries
Another common mistake adult children make is ignoring personal boundaries as they provide care for their aging parents. Whether it’s not setting personal boundaries in the first place or failing to keep those boundaries in place, ignoring personal boundaries only leads to exhaustion and feelings of bitterness. Avoid this mistake by establishing personal boundaries upfront with your aging parents. Clearly communicate what you’re able to help them with and what’s out of bounds for you. At the same time, ask them what boundaries they have regarding their care, with the caveat that you’ll respect those boundaries as long as their health and well-being aren’t being compromised.
Overlooking Available Resources
Overlooking available resources is another common mistake adult children make when caring for their aging parents. There are many resources available for the sole purpose of easing the caregiving load, yet many family caregivers are completely unaware that these programs exist. Start by exploring programs and services offered by the city of Richmond’s Office of Aging and Disability Services. Senior Connections is another organization that provides an array of resources, from home-delivered meals and transportation services to caregiver support and Medicare and Insurance Counseling. Take time to browse what's available to you as a caregiver or what programs Mom or Dad may qualify for that can help you all on your caregiving journey.
Delaying Important Conversations
Finally, many adult children make the mistake of delaying important conversations as they provide care for their aging parents. Although certain topics about aging can be difficult, they shouldn’t be ignored altogether. Avoid this mistake by initiating these conversations early. Ask your parents about their long-term care preferences, healthcare directives, and end-of-life wishes. Be sure they’ve designated a power of attorney for health and finances and that all their affairs are in order. If they need help with these important documents, several lawyers in the area can help with estate planning. SeniorNavigator can help you locate a trusted lawyer near you.
One last common mistake adult children make when caring for their aging parents is failing to seek help. Visiting Angels Richmond is here to support family caregivers and reduce their risk for caregiver burnout. We provide at-home care for seniors throughout Henrico and Hanover Counties in Virginia. Our compassionate caregivers are available to assist Mom or Dad with personal care so that you can respect their personal boundaries. While our caregivers are present, you can step away with peace of mind and enjoy some self-care. In addition to the professional at-home care services we provide, we can also help initiate those difficult conversations and connect you with other local resources that are available to you. Getting started is easy. Simply contact us today by calling 804-353-0000.