How to Talk to a Loved One About Needing Additional Help Around the House

Sometimes the people we love require extra help with chores and other duties around the house. We notice that they are struggling with everyday tasks, but it can be hard to bring up the subject. Hurt feelings and a painful sense of losing self-sufficiency sometimes get in the way of a positive discussion. 

We want to show our loved ones how much we care, and at the same time get them the help they need. The truth is, taking care of a elderly person with lot of need could be deeply taxing to the life of the family caregiver. Here are several helpful ways to go about talking with your loved one about how to make their life easier:

Have an open, honest conversation in a comfortable environment. 
No one wants to feel like they are being berated or devalued. It’s important to make sure your loved one feels comfortable and at ease during this difficult conversation. Focus on their well-being with phrases like “I want to see you thrive,” and “I care about your daily happiness.” Most likely, your loved one has also noticed that they are not able to do as much around the house as they once did. 
Ask questions about what solutions would help them feel comfortable. When your loved one feels heard, they are more likely to accept suggestions. By identifying areas of sensitivity, you are better able to address these heartfelt concerns.
Always keep the focus on their wants and needs. Remind them that “this is the best way to help you remain in this home that you love.”

Gather and share online information and resources. 
There is a wealth of information about in-home care available online.  Research what you need to consider before you start the conversation. Then, consider ways to engage your loved one in the research process.
Sharing information and options, rather than presenting your findings as a “done deal,” helps to create an atmosphere of positive cooperation.

Consider getting expert advice. 
A professional caregiver, well-versed in the intricacies of elder home care, is a great resource. Research available solutions and locate experts who provide free consultations. Discuss options available for someone who wants to stay in their home, but needs help around the house. Sometimes the opinion of an expert caregiver carries more weight with someone who is in need of help.
Gain your loved one’s approval for an initial consultation. When “we are making this decision together,” the solution is a mutual process, not something being imposed against their will. Remember that it’s not about you… the goal is to help your loved one improve the quality of their life.

Talking to a loved one about extra support around the house may not be the easiest conversation… but with the right preparation and resources, you can make it smoother. Together, you will determine the next steps necessary for an engaged and healthy life. And that’s an outcome everyone will be happy to achieve!