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How Do We Care for Our Long Distance Loved Ones?
In today’s world, it’s common for families and friends to be separated by great distances. At some point in
their lives, your parents, grandparents or a loved one may need in-home care. Suddenly you are faced with the
challenge of long distance caregiving.
The best approach to dealing with long distance caregiving is to educate yourself and your family to prepare
ahead of time.
Institutional Facilities vs. Their Home
Sometimes, nursing homes and retirement homes seem like the only options available for care.
However, your loved one can suffer significant emotional trauma when they leave their long-time
home and familiar surroundings. Studies have shown that seniors thrive when they remain in their
homes and familiar communities with their friends and neighbors.
How Do I Choose a Home Care Agency?
Home care agencies offer different levels of service. Choose an agency that offers more than basic
homemaker services. Eventually your loved one will require personal care services (assistance with
dressing, bathing, hygiene, etc.). The agency you choose should be bonded, insured and licensed (not
all states require home care licensing). Their caregivers should be experienced and screened, including
a criminal background check. You or your loved one should be able to meet with the caregiver before
you agree to services. Choose an agency that complies with HIPAA.
How Do We Afford The Care They Need?
Since home care services are non-medical, they currently are
not covered by Medicare. Home care services are generally
paid individually or by long term care insurance. Often,
associations offer care and funds for members who suffer
from a specific disease.
An excellent solution is the reverse mortgage. It
allows your loved one access to funds from
their home equity without touching their
income.
Veterans and their spouses may qualify
for the Disability Pension for Aid and
Attendance, which provides funds for
in-home care.
Does my loved one need care?
• Does your loved one need assistance
walking?
• Has their physical and/or emotional
health been declining?
• Are they able to prepare nutritious daily
meals?
• Are they able to shop for themselves?
• Are they able to manage their bills and
financial responsibilities?
• Are they taking their medications on
time?
• Are they still able to drive safely?
• Are they in need of companionship?
• Are they able to dress and groom
themselves?
I feel guilty that I am not there
for them.
Guilt is a natural emotion. It’s frustrating
to be separated by distance and trying
to manage remotely. Reduce anxieties
by sharing the load with other family
members.
If your loved one is dealing with a specific
illness (ie. Alzheimer’s, ALS, Cancer, Stroke,
etc.) contact the local association/support
group. Use the services of a care manager,
elder-law attorney or certified senior
adviser.
Most importantly, stay in contact with
your loved one and their support group,
establish periodic phone calls and visit as
often as possible.