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Persuading Your Elder Parent(s) to Choose Home Care
How do you help your elderly loved one get past their family customs and cultural beliefs to accept assistance in her
home? How do you tell your loved one that you and your siblings are concerned about them living alone at home?
How do you help them keep their independence without interfering in their life or making decisions for them?
These are issues that will not go away with time. To the contrary, it will behoove everyone involved to be proactive
about such difficult topics. With advance planning and straight-forward discussions, the problem-solving process
actually can work well, but it will take some concentrated effort by you, your siblings, and your loved one.
The Family Plan
Setting up a family meeting can be a great place to begin having discussions about the care they should
be receiving (or wants to receive). It may seem obvious, but remember that they are the one who will
be making choices about their own life, not you or one of your relatives (unless of course, there is a very
serious health concern and your loved one is being quite unreasonable and disregarding this health
concern).
Your loved one should always be a part of the central discussions – if not, it could be difficult for you to
come to solutions that are acceptable to them.
Family meetings should be supportive and this support alone may be enough to convince them that they
should begin to consider some form of home care before their health deteriorates.
Even with the most thought out and well planned family meeting, resistance from your loved one (and
possibly from others) is normal when discussing their independence - or lack thereof.
If they show signs of resistance and would like to delay discussions for awhile, don’t push them into having
the meeting. Realize they may need some time to embrace the subject– approach them in a week or two
and suggest another time to have the meeting. If they continue to be stand-offish, be a bit more assertive,
making sure that they understand that you (and your family) want this meeting because you care about
them and their well-being.
Many of the conversations you will be
having on your loved one’s behalf could
very well be emotionally laden, and must be
handled carefully.
Things to remember when you and your
family discuss the possible need of in-home
care are:
• Your loved one must be the focus of
all discussions and be totally involved
(assuming their mental capabilities are up
to the task).
Approaching The Difficult
Subject That Your Loved One
May Need Home Care.
• Voice your opinions using “I” statements.
• Have a clear topic for every discussion.
• Be assertive about your thoughts.
• Be respectful of your loved one’s opinions.
• Realize it may take some time and several
conversations to come to a consensus.
• Avoid blaming others or using “You”
statements.
• Don’t try to accomplish too much in one
conversation.
• Anticipate the difficulty in persuading
your loved one and reassure them of the
freedoms home care will provide them.
• Discuss the option of a free, non-commital,
in-home consultation with a Visiting
Angels care giver to aid in the decision
making process.
Contact Visiting Angels 24/7
for help at 800.365.4189