How to Combat the Loneliness That Comes with Aging

Every stage of life seems to have its own featured joy as well as its own unique challenges. Once we’re seniors, the demands of life slow down. At last, there’s time to get to that reading list. Finally, we can start cultivating those hobbies and taking the trips we daydreamed about during our more hectic years. What’s surprising, though, is how the loss of energy, mobility and financial reserves can make it hard to achieve those goals. Now that we have the time, it can be hard to live up to ambitions we had about what these years might be like.

The same can be true of social commitments. It seemed easier to have a busy social life when everyday events produced a rotating cast of characters - professional life always ushered in plenty of social contacts. Volunteering and coaching associated with raising our children likewise produced plentiful connections. At times, it seemed like too much, but now it can seem like not enough. 

Keeping loneliness away takes energy and strategy. It may not seem like things “should” be that way, but it’s just the reality. Feeling guilty or responsible for the loneliness we may feel is understandable, but it isn’t fair and it doesn’t help. Try not to waste your precious energy worrying that you did something to cause your social calendar to be less robust than you’d like it to be. Instead, use your energy to change that status. Consider these ideas for how to combat the loneliness that tends to accompany this life stage.

Own It

Feeling lonely is not a weakness. Finding yourself less socially engaged than you’d like to be isn’t a failure. You have more time on your hands than you’re used to. Filling that time in satisfying ways is something new to figure out. Allow that, without judging yourself or your situation.

There are plenty of ways to plan and prepare to make this part of life socially fulfilling. Start by figuring out what tools you have to work with. The ask yourself: What do I enjoy? What feels good to me?

Check out what events and activities are available for seniors in your neighborhood. Look at exercise classes, day trips, card-playing groups, book clubs. See what groups meet at your church, community center and local library. There are likely fun activities that are close to you and you may even be able to get a ride there.

But first, make the commitment to yourself. This may feel a little forced. It may feel a bit outside your comfort zone, but it stands to be worth it. Take a chance, and if the risk you take doesn’t seem quite right for you, try again. Keep going until you find that alumni group, community group or church group that you want to be a part of on an ongoing basis. It’s out there.

Make Your Rounds

Call your old friends. Propose a regular meet up. That may mean a monthly lunch at a favorite spot. It could be a weekday mass and breakfast. It could mean getting out to see the basketball team at your alma mater play a game. Reach out. Be the one who gets the crew back together whether it’s at your house, a friend’s house or out in the community. It may not be as easy to forge social connections as it used to be, but it’s just as important.

Visiting Angels Social Care Program

If you’re not connected via social media, ask your caregiver about the Visiting Angels Social Care Program. This way, you can learn the basics of getting up and running online and on social media. Go at your own speed, trained by someone patient and understanding whom you can trust to make it easy and doable for you. This way, you can stay in touch with friends and family who are far away, plus you can keep track of local friends.

Mindfully fill your calendar. Take risks and meet new friends. Engage in their lives and ask them to engage in yours. Combating loneliness takes work, but it’s a worthwhile pursuit! Go out and embrace your life, don’t wait for it to come to you.