HIDDEN COSTS OF CARING FOR YOUR PARENTS
A recent study conducted by MetLife showed that 10 million adult children over the age of 50 were acting as a caregiver for their aging parents – that’s about 25% of all Baby Boomers!
This is definitely a generation caught between career and bringing up their kids while simultaneously taking responsibility for an aging love one. The pressure on families is intense today, emotionally and financially, but family caregivers do not have to sacrifice either their health or their wealth to provide for their loved ones –To do it without breaking the bank, you have to be aware of the hidden costs as well as the unrealistic expectations of caring for your aging parents.
Here’s a list of hidden costs to consider and some suggestions to help working professionals:
- Hidden Cost #1 – Care of your elderly Mom or Dad with dementia can mean lost productivity at work which could ultimately cause you to lose your job as well as your sanity. Don’t risk your career and have a nervous breakdown because you have no time for your boss, co-workers, or to finish that important project. While your parents are still able to age well in their home, enlist the help of neighbors and nearby relatives when their schedules permit or hire a homecare agency Companion or Caregiver that can take your loved one to doctor’s appointments or run to the pharmacy for prescriptions. Remember that if you do need to take time off due to a medical emergency, there are employment protections for family caregivers.
- Hidden Cost #2 – If you are working less hours at your job to care for a loved one, not only do you risk losing income, but you will probably be sacrificing advancement opportunities over time that would have translated into promotions, bonuses, and higher salary as well as more Social Security benefits for you in the future. If a baby sitter worked for your kids, Companion Care can work for your parents when appropriate. Don’t feel guilty, especially if you are a female professional. Most family caregivers are women, but women have less of a financial safety net than men due to the fact that females live longer than males. The cost of a Home Health Agency Caregiver or Companion is justified if it keeps you focused on the job during the day. Most importantly – keep working because leaving a job means losing a paycheck but also your benefits. Remember there may be tax benefits available to family caregivers.
- Hidden Cost #3 –Stress and strain turn into frustration, guilt, depression and complete burn out! If you can’t afford full time help, consider arranging for part time help a few days a week. There is respite care available through a Home Health Agency like Visiting Angels. A plan for care can be customized to fit your pocketbook and schedule – day or night. Reach out to non-profits such as Alzheimer’s Community Care, the Alzheimer’s Association, Jewish Family Services, and your Church or Synagogue for additional community resources available during working hours.
- Hidden Cost #4 – When your health suffers or you start to develop chronic conditions, this costs you time off from work as well as co-pays for physician visits, procedures and prescriptions. Face the fact that you can’t do it all, no one can, so stop trying. A Companion or Caregiver from a Home Health Agency can provide help with some of the more daunting daily tasks like bathing, dressing, hygiene, or attending to other timeconsuming tasks and difficult personal needs.
- Hidden Cost #5 – Travel can be expensive if you live across town or across state or on the other side of the country. Peace of mind is priceless. So if you can’t move yourself or it’s not practical to move your parent, compromise and budget accordingly. Visit when you can and hire a Home Health Agency to check in on Mom or Dad regularly. If you can, share the responsibility for visits and care with another willing sibling or relative nearby. Do as much for your loved one as you can on the internet like pay bills, order medications, send them audio books, deliver groceries etc., etc.
- Hidden Costs #6 – The unrealistic expectations of the level of care you can provide for your parents can bankrupt you. Set parameters from the start about what you are financially able or willing to do to help them grow old gracefully at home or age in place. See if they have Long Term Care Insurance which will pay for homecare in most instances where the Activities of Daily Living cannot be performed. Perhaps it would be wise to consult with an estate and trust/elder law attorney if tough financial decisions have to made like selling assets to pay for care. Downsizing to a smaller home is an option and often a blessing in the case of physical or cognitive impairment.
Caring for an aging parent is a compassionate but stressful undertaking, physically, mentally, emotionally AND FINANCIALLY. Remember you can’t take care of someone else unless you also take care of yourself. Take care of your health but also your financial future while caring for aging loved ones. Arranging for assistance from a Home Health Agency can make a great deal of financial sense, and in many instances is cheaper and more convenient than other senior care options.
Till Next Time!
Irv Seldin, JD
CEO and Owner, Visiting Angels of the Palm Beaches
This article is not intended as medical, financial, or legal advice