HOW TO GET YOUR SENIOR PARENTS TO BE SERIOUS ABOUT CORONAVIRUS
When did you first notice your parents’ state of fear – or lack of it – about the Coronavirus? Reactions, as reported by the Wall Street Journal, have ranged from complete disregard and dismissal to extreme distancing and doom. How do you find balance in life when living through a pandemic? Does age adjust perspective?
If your Senior loved one is not taking the pandemic seriously, there could be many reasons why. The age of the great generation ranges from their 70s to their 90s, and many have already lived through war and depression, death, hunger, panic, lack of money, recession, stock market crashes, gas shortages and more. They battle chronic pain, memory loss, physical impairment, loneliness and fear every day. So what’s a little social distancing or lack of toilet paper? “This too shall pass,” I am not changing my habits or routine, might just be their attitude.
Is your Senior seriously refusing to follow cleansing and hygiene protocols or ignoring the need to isolate and stay home? It may be hard for the elderly to see that the danger looming is not just that of contracting the flu, but their vulnerability and risk of death if there is no treatment, no cure, and no vaccine on the horizon. They survived diabetes, heart disease and stroke, and live with the idea that their time may be just around the corner. Understand that they might not want to put an end to visits with friends, shopping and outside activities that are their sole focus and distraction in life. Old age is lonely enough.
Could it be that family caregivers being overly strict about precautions are projecting their own fears onto their parents and grandparents? Information overload, too many statistics and news conferences, political feuding and economic fear tend to stoke irrationality at times. We are afraid of lack of control. Calm is the order of the day when dealing with the elderly though. Routine is comforting, whereas stress and fear serves little purpose when an elderly loved one is struggling to hold onto their self-respect and last shred of independence. Your loved one might actually be more resilient than you due to their prior experiences. Approach new necessary habits and behaviors from a positive perspective. Pointing out – if you do this for me, Mom and Dad – it will make me feel better and give me peace of mind.
Working from home, home schooling kids, worrying about Senior loved ones, missed birthdays and celebrations, financial and economic fears, supply chain disruptions, prescription shortages, lack of protective items, all take their toll no matter what your age. Let’s make sure our conversations and communications are frequent but not full of misunderstandings and frustrations.
Try these strategies with your folks:
- Ask how they are coping, what they are feeling, if they need anything, and put aside you own agenda.
- Remember, this is not a technology focused generation. Appreciate that they are having a hard time staying connected in the classic sense.
- Pack your patience along with the groceries and medications you deliver to their door. Take time to listen, stop rushing and have a real conversation. Be supportive instead of critical, and engage them as much as possible.
- Have a little empathy. This could be as easy as just putting yourself in their shoes. They might then return the favor and be a bit more open minded about washing their hands, getting out the Clorox wipes in the kitchen and bath, wearing a mask and gloves to the supermarket, and stop bitching about the cancelled bridge game.
CONTACT US: Need peace of mind? Your loved one might benefit from home care or companion care during the pandemic. Our caregivers are trained in the proper protocols to prevent transmission of the Coronavirus, and can help ease the stress and loneliness that comes from social distancing. We will shop, cook, manage meds and do the necessary disinfecting of high touch surfaces needed in the home. In addition, our caregivers can help prevent falls to keep your loved one out of the hospital, which is a high risk environment at this time. If you need help at home or someone to check on a loved one, help is just a phone call away at 561-264-0866.
Till Next Time!
Irv Seldin, JD, President and Owner, Visiting Angels of the Palm Beaches
This article is not intended as medical advice.