MEALS AND MEDS DO NOT HAVE TO MEAN WAR!
Why does meal time and med time become a battleground? Too often it has to do with power and control, and changing family roles. Your loved one does not like to feel they are losing their independence, they do not like to be told what to do and when to do it, whether it is to eat a meal, drink water, or take a pill as well as a shower. But when it comes to meals and meds, there are often other subtle issues at play like loss of appetite or unnoticed drug side effects.
Medications can be challenging for patients and caregivers alike because they have to be administered daily – often several times, and there are complications that can occur, especially with multiple conditions being treated. In addition, many drugs interact with each other as well as certain foods. As a person ages their metabolism slows and overdosing or mis-dosing can be extremely toxic so you have to be extremely careful.
If your parent, spouse or elderly loved one is not taking meds as prescribed, there could be several reasons:
- They are experiencing a side effect they don’t like, but don’t understand, deny, or don’t want to discuss.
- They can’t swallow the pill or don’t like the taste – you may want to switch to a liquid if possible.
- They don’t realize the importance of the medication or remember what it is for.
- Dementia or Alzheimer’s makes them forgetful, so not only is it is hard to remember to take the prescription, but if they did actually take it, they may have no recollection.
- There are way too many pills, dosing is complicated, administering it with/without meals /timing throughout the day, etc., is overwhelming.
Are you and your loved one feeling overwhelmed? Don’t try to force the meds, rather explain what the medicine is for and why it is important. If gentile coaxing and several reminders throughout the day doesn’t work, talk to the doctor and review all the prescriptions your loved one is taking – perhaps some are no longer needed, perhaps on some the dose or frequency can be changed. Always be cognizant of the exact dose, frequency, and if it is recommended to be taken with or without food. Make sure they stay hydrated and maintain fluid levels. If your loved one is forgetful, or has dementia and can’t remember to take their meds, or is resistant to taking meds, a caregiver or companion can be of great help at home, making sure your parent or spouse is taking their prescriptions and watching for medication side effects as well. For more practical every day tips on how to manage meds safely, read our previous blog post here: https://www.visitingangels.com/palmbeaches/top-ten-tips-to-manage-your-medications-weekly-message_254.
Your loved one will feel better and function better as well when nourished and hydrated. But just as there can be issues at med time, unfortunately the same holds true for meal time. It is especially frustrating when the two overlap due to administering instructions. And this is especially difficult in folks with Parkinson’s where proper timing of meds is imperative as well. As mentioned above, our metabolism slows as we age, so not only is it harder for our bodies to rid themselves of toxins, the absorption of nutrients becomes more difficult too. Often meds have that effect on the body as well, so in those cases better nutrition becomes a priority and that makes meal time important.
So if your loved one is refusing to eat meals, the issue might be they have trouble eating, chewing, swallowing, or digesting. It could be chest congestion or breathing problems. Maybe they have been suffering from uncomfortable heartburn of late no matter what they eat or drink and a change of diet could make all the difference. Sometimes dental issues are the culprit, check with the dentist if it’s been a while since their last visit.
You will eventually notice a sudden change in weight along with a lack of appetite. If there is no medical reason for it, you may want to consult a nutritionist.
Seniors can have different challenges - depression, pain, or certain chronic conditions that could be the culprit when meal time becomes a battleground. They could be embarrassed about feeding themselves due to motor skill issues. Or meal time and the menu could be the last thing they feel they can control, and hence the pushback at breakfast, lunch and dinner.
Before you throw in the towel, try this - change lunch to the main meal of the day. Often by dinner time some seniors are too tired to finish a big meal. Some may have digestive problems after a big meal that interfere with a good night’s sleep. Instead of skipping meals, have your loved one eat a little snack and if necessary let them eat 5-6 small meals throughout the day. Don’t rush the meal, sit down with your loved one and show patience. Sometimes a rushed person will simply refuse to eat as an act of rebellion. For those who are slow eaters, offer to reheat their meal.
Lastly, offer mealtime as an opportunity to socialize and be with others. When family and friends ask "what can I do to help," ask them to come over and eat a meal with your loved one. Even children can help with this! Remember loneliness and depression can lead to loss of appetite. So can boredom and being glued to the TV.
We’ve put together a list of our caregivers’ helpful hints for meal time:
- Steam veggies so that they are softer for those with chewing or dental problems. If chewing is not an issue, cut up raw vegetables and serve with a tasty dip.
- Make high calorie drinks like fruit and yoghurt smoothies or milk shakes for people who have trouble chewing or swallowing solids. You can add bananas, peanut butter, wheat germ, etc. to a chocolate shake for a nutritious drink.
- For those with chewing problems, shred or cube pork or chicken and serve with applesauce or a nice gravy. If a person needs their food cut up, do it before it is served to save their dignity.
- Think “Finger Food” for those with eyesight and motor issues that make eating with a fork, knife and spoon hard. Think chicken nuggets and cheese sticks, plus cut up fruit or veggies with dip.
We hope these tips have been helpful – when you are beyond frustrated, too tired to argue, or your relationship with your loved one begins to suffer, that’s when an “Angel” caregiver or companion, can save the day as a neutral party.
When things get too tough to handle alone, home care can be beneficial in situations like these because the caregiver or companion is trained to distract rather than react, and has no emotional baggage that a family member carries. CNAs and HHAs are trained professionals that can provide proper care at meal and med time, and give you peace of mind.
Contact Colleen Haggerty to learn more about the benefits of home care and companionship for yourself or a loved one at 561-328-7611. We can custom tailor a program for your preferences, personality and your pocketbook! We serve Palm Beach Gardens and the surrounding area: Jupiter, Tequesta, Juno Beach, West Palm Beach and Wellington.
Till next time!
Irv Seldin, JD
Owner and CEO of Visiting Angels of the Palm Beaches
This article is not intended as medical advice.