TAKE ADVANTAGE OF A HOLIDAY VISIT TO CHECK ON ELDERLY PARENTS

Haven’t seen your folks in a while? It might be a good idea to visit your aging parents or other relatives over the holidays to observe them in their “natural habitat” and see how they’re really doing. Folks can seem “fine” over the phone, but a visit to the home can give you a better picture of how they are managing (or not) on their own and if there are safety issues that need to be addressed in the New Year. Here are three tips regarding important things to do:

1. Discreetly look for signs of trouble with mental skills, vision, and physical activity. Use the checklist below and make notes, you may want to see on a second visit if this have changed for the worse.
   1. Have they lost weight or do they seem more frail?
   2. Do they have trouble having normal conversations? Are they repeating stories or being unusually confused about simple things?
   3. Are they squinting or tripping over things much more than usual?
   4. Are their driving skills the same as before? Are there any unexplained dents or scratches on the car?
   5. Are they reluctant to leave the house?
   6. Is the house messier or dirtier than normal?
   7. Is there a lot of unopened mail? Are unpaid bills lying around?
   8. Is the refrigerator stocked with fresh food or is there moldy or expired food around?
   9. Are there burned pots and pans or burn marks on the floors or counters?
   10. Are there any new medications, vitamins, or supplements you haven’t seen before? Is their medication organized so it’s easy to take the correct dose at the correct time?
   11. Do they have bruises or marks, or pain, that may indicate they have had multiple falls?
2. Spend a morning or afternoon and do a home safety check, it might just save your loved one from an accident and help them stay independent longer.
   1. Remove clutter from the floor and throw rugs they can trip on
   2. Install automatic lighting from the bed to bathroom so there is no stumbling about at night
   3. Look at options for grab bars, hand-held shower heads and shower stools, toilet seat boosters etc.
   4. Invest in non-slip mats for tub and shower, and one by the sink in the kitchen
   5. Put often used kitchen and food items on bottom shelves for easy reaching and no climbing
   6. Repair any railings, lighting, or torn carpet
3. If you haven’t already started talking about aging and long term care plans for the future, consider bringing up the subject at a strategic time during your visit.
   1. Approach the conversation using the most important considerations like safety, freedom, peace of mind, social connection, and being able to make choices.
   2. Emphasize that there aren’t “right” or “wrong” options or ideas. Ak them to keep an open mind and consider a range of options.
   3. Start with some casual conversations to plant seeds. Then build on those to lead to bigger, more decision-focused conversations later. Be a good listener.
   4. Use an “ice breaker” like: Some things seem to take more energy these days. Is there a way we can make it easier for you to stay comfortably and safely at home?

Contact Us: This year, use some of your time at home over the holidays to make sure your parents and elderly relatives are doing well, make simple home safety updates, and have important conversations about future changes. If you can’t arrange a visit, consider having Visiting Angels step in and do an assessment for your peace of mind. Our experts can visit the home and assess fall risk, red flags related to dementia behaviors, and share tips to help you focus on important details that need to be addressed to make a difference. Contact us at 561-328-7611 for more options.

Till Next Time!

Irv Seldin, JD, President and Owner, Visiting Angels of the Palm Beaches

*THIS ARTICLE IS NOT INTENDED AS MEDICAL ADVICE.