Four Things to Do While Visiting Elderly Loved Ones During the Holidays

The holiday season is upon us and for many Americans, this means a visit with their elderly parents or relatives. For some, a visit with their aging loved ones can seem monotonous. After pleasantries are exchanged and the “what’s new” question has been answered, there’s little left to be said. If there are children or teens in the picture, the visit can be challenging as you try to bridge the generation gap. Yet, the holidays are a wonderful time to reconnect with our aging relatives. It’s also a great time to check-in on them and assess their health and well-being. Here are four things you should do during your visit with your aging loved ones in order to make the most of your time together.

Assess Their Home Discreetly
If your aging loved ones live independently, the holidays are a great opportunity to check how well they’re doing. Take some time to look around their home, discreetly of course. Pay attention to the way the home looks and smells. Check the pantry and fridge—is it filled with outdated foods or cartons of leftovers? Do you notice an accumulation of dust or dirty floors? Is there a pile of unopened mail or any late bills that haven’t been paid? Are they wearing clean clothes, and do they smell clean? Does their yard look maintained for the season? Is their car in working condition? Do they seem to be able to manage their home without much effort, or could they benefit from more help? Once you’ve assessed their home, take notes so that you can recognize changes over time. Make this a habit during each visit and act when they are no longer able to remain safe at home.

Prioritize Home Safety
During your visit, prioritize time for home safety improvements. Some safety precautions are as easily fixed as removing a throw rug or rearranging furniture. Other safety improvements may take a little more time but can prevent an unnecessary fall. As you walk around your aging loved one’s home, notice tripping hazards or rooms that are cluttered. Help your loved one organize their belongings. Consider installing grab bars in the bathrooms, especially in the shower. Purchase a shower chair. Fix uneven floorboards and loose carpet. Ensure that their home is well-lit. If they own a pet, make sure there is a secure place for the pet to wait while your elderly relative moves about the house. Pets are a huge fall risk as their behavior is often unpredictable.

Spend Time Reminiscing
While the conversation might flow naturally for some, others may struggle to keep the conversation going between themselves and their aging loved ones. Before turning on the television to fill the void, put on the kettle for tea or brew a pot of coffee and invite your aging loved one to reminisce with you. There’s no right or wrong way to reminisce, so start with a topic that interests you. Ask them about their favorite holiday traditions or how they celebrated as a child. Do they remember their best gift they ever received or gave? What do they value during the holidays? What was their childhood like? What was their most memorable holiday and why? Ask open ended questions and give time for them to respond. Seniors with dementia especially need longer to process and recall. Include your children during the conversation, they may learn something interesting about their aging loved one that lets them see them in a new light.

Discuss Their Goals
Finally, don’t leave before having a conversation with them about their goals for their future. Do they plan to live in their current home for the remainder of their life? What are their thoughts about their health and well-being? What other options have they considered, or would they consider in order to be safe? Do they feel that they need more help now? Do they struggle with feelings of loneliness or depression? If this is something you’ve never discussed with them before, it can be a heavy topic. Initiate the conversation when your aging loved one is feeling their best. Avoid the topic when they’re tired or there’s too much going on at the moment. Try taking them out for lunch, just you and your aging relative. Involve siblings as appropriate. Stick with phrases such as “I’m feeling concerned about your health,” to prevent them from feeling attacked. You don’t need to cover every question listed above, but you should end the visit knowing a little more about their future plans.

If you’ve discovered that your aging loved one needs more help at home during your holiday visit, know that Visiting Angels Chesterfield-Richmond is here to provide the assistance that they need. Our senior care services allow our clients to live safely and independently in the comfort of their home. This gives their families peace of mind knowing that their aging loved one is receiving the care they need. We can tailor our services to meet your loved one’s individual needs. As their needs change over time, we can adjust their care plan to meet their evolving care needs. To learn more about our senior care services and to schedule your free in-home assessment, please contact us today.