Introducing a Caregiver to Your Aging Parents: Four Tips to Have the "More Help" Conversation

It's a conversation that many adult children dread the most. It's a topic that they tend to put off until it's absolutely necessary or too late to do anything about. However difficult this topic may be, it's very important for adult children to have a conversation with their aging parents about their future health needs. It's far better to look ahead and have a tentative plan in place, than to be forced into a situation where an aging parent isn't happy or comfortable. If you think that it's time to bring a caregiver into the picture, but have no clue where to start, here are four tips to help you have the "more help" conversation.

Start Soon & Revisit the Conversation
As mentioned above, some adult children wait too long to broach the "more help" conversation and are put in an awkward position after it's too late. Their aging parent may fall or suffer a stroke, forcing the child to make tough decisions with little knowledge about their parent's wishes. Instead of waiting until it's too late, broach the conversation today. Simply ask what your aging parents want their future to look like. Do they prefer to remain in the comfort of their home? What are their plans should something happen or they're no longer safe to remain alone at home? The sooner you initiate this conversation, the sooner your parents can begin to think about their plans. Then, should they need more help down the road, it'll be easier to revisit the conversation and take action.

Make It a Conversation, Not a Lecture
When you do work up the courage to have the "more help" conversation, it's important that you remember to make it a conversation, not a lecture. There's a listening component attached to conversations. That means you need to give your aging parents time and space to hear and respond to your words. They may need some time to process. They may become defensive and need space to consider your perspective. Listen to their verbal and nonverbal communication. If they seem closed to the idea of "more help," respect their space. Simply state that this is a conversation that you want to continue at a later date and ask them to select a date in the future that works for them.

Be Open & Honest
It's very important that you are open and honest with your aging parents as you begin the "more help" conversation. Start the conversation with basic observations and express how it makes you feel. You can say, "I've noticed that you seem to struggle remembering appointments or to take your medications. I feel concerned about you and I worry about you when I'm not here." Then, be honest and say that you think it might be time that you all look into hiring a private caregiver. Explain how it would give you peace of mind knowing someone is present when you're not available. Also explain that you deeply care about them and would hate to see something happen that could be prevented by hiring a caregiver. If you speak from your heart, your parents are more likely to be receptive and open to exploring care options.

Let Your Parents Take the Lead
Finally, once you've introduced the "more help" conversation, it's important that you let your parents take it from there. Just as you gave them space to process and respond, you need to give them space to explore care options. You can certainly offer to call senior home care companies or accompany them to appointments but wait for an invitation. It might be likely that they will need your help walking through the search process. If that's the case, be sure that you let them lead as much as they can. Let them answer questions before you chime in. Present options to them but let them make the final choice. Be their cheerleader and advocate, just as they were for you as they raised you.

If you are an adult child searching for the right senior home care company for your aging parents, look no further than Visiting Angels Chesterfield-Richmond. We understand the needs of seniors better than any other senior home care company. We know how important it is for seniors to feel safe and maintain their independence in the comfort of their own home. We also know how important it is for adult children to know that their aging parents are in good hands and living their best life. You can trust us to provide exceptional care at an affordable cost. To learn more about our amazing senior home care services, please contact us today.