VISITING ANGELS SOUTHLAKE, TX 817-684-1996
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When Siblings Disagree About Caring for Their Aging Parents

Siblings arguing with each otherMost seniors with long-term care needs rely exclusively on family members to provide care and assistance. Often, that family member is the eldest daughter in the family, or the eldest and closest in proximity daughter-in-law. In fact, according to Family Caregiver Alliance, the average caregiver is a 49 year old woman caring for her mother who does not live with her. Although sons do contribute to the caregiving load, on average, females spend approximately 50% more of their time providing care than males.

There are many factors that can contribute to disagreements when it comes to making caregiving decisions in the best interest of mom or dad. Disagreements can arise when the sibling carrying most of the caregiver role feels as if the other siblings aren’t vested in the parents’ care. Other triggers include financial decisions, caregiver burnout, stress; even sibling rivalry can play a part, no matter the age of the siblings. So, what do you do when you disagree on what’s best for mom or dad? Here are a few pointers that will hopefully lead you and your siblings to a resolution.

Spend Quality Time with Mom or Dad

Siblings that live out-of-town, or who aren’t as involved in the caregiver role, need to experience firsthand what the primary caregiver experiences daily. Start by planning a trip to spend one-on-one time with your aging parents. If possible, stay with your parents so that you can see their care needs up close and personal. This will help open your eyes to the care needs your parents have, as well as give the primary sibling caregiver a break. You may also see a potential solution that your sibling hasn’t thought of that might alleviate some of the burden.

Talk It Out

Arrange a time for the immediate family to have a conversation about mom or dad’s care needs. Once you’re all gathered, let the sibling who is juggling most of the caregiving tasks share everything she does for mom or dad. When you’re not the one stopping to pick up groceries for your parents after work or missing a child’s event because mom or dad needs to get to the doctor, it’s difficult to realize how much time is devoted to the caregiver role. Make a list of all the care needs mom or dad have now, and potential care needs they may have down the road. Then, plan as a family to meet those needs.

Compromise

It’s not fair to let all the burden of caregiving fall on one sibling. Even if all other siblings live out-of-town, they can still contribute to the caregiving. Compromise with one another by scheduling breaks for the primary caregiver throughout the year. This will give them something to look forward to, while allowing the other siblings a glimpse of the changing needs of your aging parents. Look for other ways to lend a hand from a distance, such as arranging grocery delivery or laundry service.

Seek Professional Help

Finally, when an agreement can’t be reached, seek professional help to intervene. Whether it’s a social worker, counselor, or pastor, sometimes the best way to handle sibling conflict is with a professional. Professionals have the tools to walk you and your siblings through conflict resolution with an unbiased approach. Seek professional guidance from your parents’ doctors as well. They can provide caregiver resources for you and your siblings to review and discuss.

There is another solution when siblings disagree. That solution is in-home senior care provided by Visiting Angels Southlake. We are focused on providing exceptional care to seniors in need of assistance, right in the comfort of their own home. Whether your aging parents need help running errands, assistance with bathing or dressing, or need a companion to keep them company so that you can attend to your own life, you can depend on us. Our team would be honored to work with you. Please give us a call to set up a free consultation so that we can learn more about your situation.

Serving Southlake and the Surrounding Areas

Visiting Angels SOUTHLAKE, TX
630 E Southlake Blvd #135
Southlake, TX 76092
Phone: 817-684-1996
Fax: 817-224-2868

Serving Southlake and the Surrounding Areas

Visiting Angels SOUTHLAKE, TX
630 E Southlake Blvd #135
Southlake, TX 76092
Phone: 817-684-1996
Fax: 817-224-2868