Tips For Caring for Your Parents, While Being a Parent Yourself
23% of Americans are part of the ‘sandwich generation’, a term for people raising a child while also caring for their parents.
Caregiving is testing at the best of times, with the burden of responsibility and a multitude of tasks providing little personal time for the family caregiver.
It would be wrong to patronize or assume family caregivers need help, as they tend to provide abundant love and devotion. It’s also something to be proud of. But, everyone has their limits. Everyone can suffer from burnout and hit a wall. For many, they are desperate for a helping hand.
Here are our top tips to reduce your workload and make life easier for everyone, if you’re caring for parents while being a parent yourself.
Reach Out for Help
Asking for a helping hand shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. The consequences of burnout can be severe. 17% of family caregivers reported a decrease in their general health, leading to serious health issues.
We understand that for many, it’s not easy to reach out for help. You may fear your loved ones will judge you for it. But in our experience, getting at least some minor home care assistance can drastically improve the lives of all involved.
When hiring a Visiting Angels senior home caregiver, you decide how much help you need. You can go full 24/7, or just hire a professional for a few days or weeks so you can take some time out (respite care). This can be crucial in providing some emotional and physical relief.
You can also relieve the day-to-day duties you endure, by having a helping hand. For example, if you struggle with providing healthy meals every day, why not hire a senior home caregiver who prepares meals and then cleans up after? Or, what about having someone transport Mom or Dad to and from their weekly social events or Doctor appointments?
It can also be wise to find community. Whether it’s groups that your parents take part in or communities that you can turn to, we advise it. Even the emotional aspects of being able to share your struggles with like-minded individuals may provide you some relief.
Jessica Stern, Ph.D., a postdoctoral researcher in psychology at the University of Virginia agrees, saying: "I like the term 'fictive kin'—a person who you consider part 'my people.' If you don't have somebody like that in your life, you should invest in creating a relationship like that. Emotional labor requires our whole being. It asks us to be emotionally regulated ourselves, to have emotional intelligence about other people, and to have a lot of self-control.”
Take Care of Yourself
It’s easy to forget the importance of your own health when you’re giving so much to others. I’ve been there. Every day is about prioritizing the desperate needs of others, so your own health and journey take the back seat role. But weeks turn into months, and months into years. Before you know it, you’re burnout, lost and struggling.
In most cases, if you don’t apply some self-care it will backfire on your parents and family. No one enjoys a burnout, stressed and error-prone relative. That’s where tensions rise and accidents occur.
We advise:
- Exercise: It’s a tough task to find time in your schedule for exercise, so this is where reaching out for help is needed. Around 150 minutes of exercise each week is suggested. It doesn’t have to be intense running either. Taking a brisk walk every day can get your heart rate going and give your mind the chance to breathe.
- Improve Sleep: Sleep deprivation hinders thinking and increases irritability. The chances are, you want more sleep. Now it’s time to think about how to plan for it.
- Healthy Eating: High-fat and high-sugar foods are your enemy when it comes to fighting fatigue and burnout. You are what you eat, so prioritize healthy fuel consistently.
- Time Off: Easier said than done, we know. But we urge you to read the benefits of respite care when you’re suffering burnout.
Set Boundaries
One of the most difficult parts of being a caregiver for your parents is setting boundaries. It can be tough to say no to requests. But as a volunteer, you can’t always add more to your plate.
You need to establish some clear boundaries so you don’t get swamped with responsibility. For example, when is your true ‘me’ time? Do you have an hour a day to read a book, watch TV or do what you want?
Or, are you tired of getting called on Saturday nights when it’s your family time to go and help Mom out with a task that your sibling doesn’t want to do? Establishing non-negotiables (except for true emergencies) can go a long way in reducing the burden placed on you, especially during your personal time.
Improve Organization
Firstly, we only target this tip at readers who may be struggling to juggle all the tasks of caring for their parents. We wouldn’t want to assume you don’t keep things organized.
However, from experience, we know that many family caregivers can get overwhelmed with organization despite their best efforts. This can be a great concern, as losing track of doctor’s appointments, medication dosage, hydration and daily exercise can have an impact on your parent’s health.
If that’s something you relate to, it’s time to improve. Consider spreadsheets, phone reminders and whiteboards in your kitchen.
Alternatively, refer back to the first tip again. A referred Visiting Angels senior home caregiver can focus on helping you with improving organization. Our system is focused on ensuring daily life is smooth, but also keeping on top of important issues and reminders.
Contact Us for a Caregiver Referral to Senior Home Care Services in Tampa, FL, Pasco County and North Pinellas County
If you need professional senior home care for your parent(s), contact Visiting Angels today to arrange a referral of a professional caregiver to provide Senior Home Care in the Tampa Bay area including the surrounding counties.
We’ll be happy to have a conversation with you and your family, to see how we can help you reduce your workload or so you can take some time off.
You can call us at 813-909-2550 or 727-841-8440 today for Hillsborough, Pasco & North Pinellas areas - Available 24/7 to talk with a Visiting Angels Representative.