Love Isn’t Always Easy: The Challenges of Caring for Aging Parents

As our parents age, watching their gradual physical changes and noticing how they now rely on us, can bring on a range of emotions. For some, becoming their parent's caregiver is an unexpected change of roles, requiring adjustments and understanding for both our parent and ourselves. At Visiting Angels we are here to walk alongside you and provide the support you need to ensure your loved one's well-being while taking care of yourself as well. In this article we will walk through some of the biggest hurdles families face and offer guidance at how to tackle them. 

Understanding Emotional Changes

Seeing our parents become physically or mentally frail can be a deeply emotional time, one that may trigger feelings of sadness, anxiety, or even guilt. We may wrestle how to navigate changing personalities, managing resentment when we feel overwhelmed and how to maintain our own sense of identity while trying to fulfill their needs all at the same time. Family dynamics have the potential to be strained when siblings have different opinions and expectations about their parent's care. Here are a few suggestions to help combat these challenges:

• Open communication is key: Talk with your parent, or parents, about their specific needs and preferences. What type of care do they want? What concerns do they have?
• You are not alone: Help is available. Seek out support groups, therapists or other professionals who work in the senior industry. Support is the key to success here. 
• Set boundaries: Boundaries will help you maintain your own well-being. It is ok to say "no" when you need to. These boundaries will also help foster healthier relationships within your family.

Physical Demands Can Take a Toll

The physical demands or caring for your aging parent can be as overwhelming as the emotional ones. From managing their daily personal needs like bathing, dressing and ensuring their getting their medication along with trying to keep up with laundry and cleaning can be both physically and mentally draining. Lifting, transferring and providing mobility assistance can also take a toll on our own aging bodies. Visiting Angels West Metro can shoulder some of this burden, giving you a break. Here are a few ways we can assist:

• Personal care: Caregivers can help with dressing, personal hygiene, bathing and mobility assistance.
• Emotional support: Havingin-home care provides companionship and conversation for both your parent and for you, giving you someone willing to listen and understand your struggles.
• ADL assistance: Support from a senior care agency will also provide meal preparation and planning, light housekeeping, laundry help, medication reminders, and even transportation to run errands. This peace of mind gives you a chance to focus on your own needs.

Communication And Patience Are Key

Effective communication is the key to any relationship, and it becomes especially true when caring for aging parents. Learning to communicate in clear language with patience and kindness is important to avoid confusion and misunderstanding. It will also help build and maintain trust between everyone involved. Be sure to recognize your parent's limitations and understand that your willingness to be flexible with your own expectations is equally as important.  Consider these tips:

• Respect their unique journey: Remember that your parent is experiencing their own thoughts and concerns about their aging body. It is important to understand their own, personal limitations and try to see things from their perspective.
• Acknowledge their feelings: Your parent may be feeling a range of emotions like frustration, anxiety, anger, or even grief. Listen to them without judgement and show them empathy and compassion. Doing this will ensure you have the space for open, honest communication.
• Don't patronize: Avoid talking down to your parent; always treat them with the respect and dignity they deserve. Your role isn't to dictate, but to understand their needs and concerns. Focus on "we" rather than "you" to promote a feeling of "we're in this together."

Seek Support and Resources

You don't have to do any of this alone. Seeking support is a sign of strength and shows your commitment to your own self-care, it is not a sign of weakness. There are a lot of resources available to you and your family, and if you're in the Minneapolis area, Visiting Angels is happy to provide you with a list of local options. Taking advantage of these resources will give you a chance to recharge. Here are some suggested networks to look into:

• Geriatric Care Managers: Care managers and care coordinators can help you and your parent navigate any decisions you may be faced with as well as coordinate care and offer guidance.
• Support Groups: These networks allow you to connect with others who are going through similar situations. It gives you a chance to share experiences, offer encouragement and also get some emotional support.
• Home Care Agencies: In-home care agencies, like Visiting Angels, provide compassionate care that offers respite to family caregivers. Having a professional caregiver also provides peace of mind for you and your family.

Caring for an aging parent can be both rewarding and difficult. It is a journey filled with ups and downs, but the love and connection between parent and child can make it truly amazing. Don't forget to take care of yourself in the process, however! There are tons of resources available to you, like the ones mentioned above, the help find balance between the role of caregiving and your own well-being. You are not alone in this. We at Visiting Angels West Metro, are here to offer support, advice and a helping hand during this time. Reach out today by giving us a call at 952-935-0789 or with our contact form, and we'd be happy to guide you on the best path forward.