Coping with Challenges as a Sandwich Generation Caregiver
The term “Sandwich Generation” refers to a person providing care for an older family member, in addition to caring for their own immediate family and children. While most think of the term “caregiving” as someone who provides physical care, caregiving also applies to those supporting living parents and children financially and emotionally. The COVID-19 pandemic only amplified multigenerational needs and many adults found themselves falling into the sandwich generation.
The National Alliance for Caregiving shares that most American sandwich generation caregivers are female, employed, and in their mid-40s. It is estimated that there are over 11 million caregivers in the sandwich generation.
July is National Sandwich Generation Month. Caregivers in the sandwich generation certainly face their own unique challenges. While it can be rewarding to care for aging parents while raising children, it can also be stressful. If you are in the sandwich generation and feel overwhelmed, here are five tips to help you cope.
Step Away to Recharge
Caregiver burnout is real and should not be taken lightly. If you’ve been feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, fatigued, depressed, hopeless, and withdrawn, you’re likely on the road to caregiver burnout. Make time to step away from your caregiver responsibilities so that you can recharge. Whether it’s an afternoon off or an entire weekend away, do what you need to do to recharge. You’ll be able to provide better care once you prioritize your own health and well-being. Then, make a habit of stepping away to prevent caregiver burnout.
Request Help
Learn to recognize your own limits and request help where help is most needed. Although you may feel as if you need to do everything yourself, you don’t. You likely have others in your life who can pitch in to help. Ask a sibling to help with online shopping or to handle finances. Ask older children to help clean their grandparents’ home or mow the lawn before carting them off to their friend’s house. If you don’t have anyone you can ask to help, consider hiring a professional caregiver to assist your aging parents.
Simplify Communication
Keeping long-distance family members in the loop can quickly become another burden that caregivers carry, especially when they have a chronic disease. It can be challenging, too, when there’s a lack of harmony amongst siblings or aunts and uncles. Remember that as a caregiver, you don’t have to add more to your plate. Simplify communication to give yourself more time back in your day. Start a group text thread to update family members about your loved one’s prognosis. Communicate your personal schedule so that they can call or visit your aging loved one when you’re not providing care. Create a shared digital calendar or spreadsheet to keep track of appointments and chores. Family members can sign up to escort your parents to their next appointment or help with a chore, giving you back some time.
Establish What’s Non-Negotiable
As a caregiver, it’s important that you establish what’s most important to you in order not to lose sight of yourself. Take a moment to reflect on your values and what brings you joy. Establish that as your non-negotiable and commit to making it happen. Whether it’s time to go for a run three days a week, sitting down as a family for a homemade meal, grabbing coffee once a week with a friend, or having an hour in the evening to journal or read, your personal needs matter too. Establish boundaries around your non-negotiable and make exceptions for only true emergencies.
Let Go of Unrealistic Expectations
Finally, recognize that the caregiving journey is a season in your life. If you’re fortunate to have your aging parents nearby and have a great relationship with them, you’re fortunate. There will come a day when they’re no longer around. When that day comes, you won’t care about whether your house looked perfect or you achieved the perfect balance between caring for them, yourself, and your children. Learn to cherish each moment. Recognize that some weeks might be heavier focused on your parents, while other weeks your children will demand more of your time. Let go of the unrealistic expectations of perfection and balance.
Visiting Angels Oshkosh understands the many challenges sandwich generation caregivers face. Fortunately, we are here to help you in your role as a caregiver. We have been providing senior care to the community since 1998. Our vast experience has made us a leading senior home care provider in the Oshkosh area. In addition to your aging loved one remaining in their own home, they also can keep their preferred routine. We work with you to accommodate your schedule. Whether you need temporary respite care to give yourself a break or want more consistent help throughout the year, we are here for you. Please get in touch with us today by calling 920-312-7000 so that we can learn more about your situation.