How To Have Difficult Conversations With Your Parents As You Both Age in Spokane, WA
It can be difficult to watch our parents age, as those who took care of us begin to need care themselves. No matter how old we get, we continue to see them as our protectors, so a lot of us don't want to admit when it's time to seek help. But put yourself in their place. They may not want to admit it either or have their family and friends feel the need to support them.
So, broaching the conversation of elderly support takes a loving, compassionate approach. With that, we can create the safe emotional space necessary to discuss difficult feelings and move healthily toward a care solution that ensures our parents' comfort and dignity.
At What Age Do Most People Need a Form of Assisted Living?
Some seniors begin to need support between the ages of 60 and 65, but others live independently well into their 80s and beyond. Every senior has different needs at different points in their life, so identifying the best time to seek care isn't always simple. Listed below are some signs you might watch for if you aren't sure whether your loved one could benefit from assistance.
Needing Reminders to Take Medication
Forgetfulness, lethargy, and public anxiety commonly come with advancing age. In turn, your parents may lose track of when they should take their medications, lose interest in maintaining their medication schedule, or delay filling their prescriptions because of the emotional challenge of going to the pharmacy.
Noticeable Weight Loss or Gain
Noticeable weight change can be a concerning sign, especially if it's due to lethargy. A senior who is exhausted by tasks like grocery shopping or cooking might choose to eat less or to eat less nutritiously, which can cause him or her to lose or gain weight.
Loss of Mobility or Increase in Falls
The loss of mobility is a common physical change among seniors. You may notice your loved one having difficulty climbing stairs, rising from a seated position, or walking long distances, and these challenges might be due to joint pain, heart concerns, or balance problems. Mobility problems can also lead to frequent falls, which can lead to serious physical injuries.
Neglecting Household Maintenance
An untidy home could suggest underlying health concerns. Your loved one may lack the energy to clean the home, or diminishing eyesight could keep him or her from noticing the buildup of dust, dirt, or cobwebs. Neglected household maintenance can introduce other problems, too, such as pests and falling hazards because of clutter.
Difficulty Performing Daily Tasks
A senior who is having difficulty keeping up with activities of daily living, like grooming and hygiene, may be experiencing challenges with his or her mobility, coordination, and vigor. It could also be the result of mood changes related to a loss of control over his or her life, or of cognitive changes that cause ordinary tasks to seem confusing.
Increased Isolation
Increased isolation can also signal mood changes, particularly depression. Your loved one may lose interest in the people he or she knows, preferring to be left alone. Social interaction could be of benefit, but persuading your loved one to reach out to others can be difficult.
Loss of Interest in Hobbies
Depression might express itself as disinterest in activities that your loved one had previously found interesting. A loss of interest could also result from damage to the frontal lobe, the part of the brain that influences our motivation — a possible sign of cognitive decline.
Communicating With Aging Parents
No two parents or sets of parents are exactly alike. Some might start needing help at 70, while others don't show signs of needing assistance until 82. Some may acknowledge they need help, and others may deny it, so sometimes we must try to ease our parents into the idea of receiving elderly support.
How we approach the conversation can make a big difference in how they receive it. At Visiting Angels, we have seen how difficult it can be to have these conversations, but with our professional experience, we know how to formulate questions and responses to help your parents know you are coming from a place of concern.
Start Early
It's best to bring up the subject of support long before your loved ones actually need help. They might brush off the topic, but we encourage you to persist. Speak to them in a spirit of cooperation to help them see that a plan for health and wellness can provide peace of mind for the ones they love.
Be Patient and Understanding
Change, or even the idea of it, can be challenging, but understanding and patience can ease the difficulty for you and your parents alike. Every step of the way, make a point of showing that you are feeling the emotions they are feeling and having the concerns they are having. And open out the conversation over time. The conversation should take place as a series of discussions across months or even years. Remember, you and they are working toward a solution together.
Take a Team Approach
We believe the decision for elderly support should involve as many loved ones as possible. Those who are involved in the care may have input that can help realize the ideal arrangement for your parent's care needs and preferences. A unified opinion from many minds can lead to a better solution for the people you love.
Review the Available Options
Elderly support is a broad topic, and there are many care options to choose from. Careful and thorough research into both providers and their services is essential for finding the right arrangement for your parents' wants and needs. Our recommended approach is to make a shortlist of picks and to ask each of them plenty of questions about their care environments, the types of support they provide, and the qualifications of their caregivers.
Use Compassion
Discussions about your parents' future under someone's care can stir a mix of emotions. Ordinarily, our parents are the ones who give care, not receive it. So, to them, the conversation about elderly support may seem like a role reversal that could feel like the loss of dignity, pride, or identity. That's why it's so important to be openly compassionate as you participate in the conversation about elderly support. Keep in mind their emotional difficulties and do all that you can to assure them of their lasting place in your life.
Don't Pressure Them
In the end, your parents must have the final say over the specifics of their care. One of your roles in the conversation, then, is to promote their autonomy. Don't choose for them, but be a guide. Ask questions about the care they want — "Would you like to stay at home? Do you think you'll need transportation help?" — and highlight the ways that certain services can improve their quality of life. They may agree to a care option if they see its benefit, but the choice is theirs.
How Visiting Angels Can Help
Many seniors who receive care prefer to do so in the comfort and familiarity of their own homes. If your parents prefer to age in place, Visiting Angels in Spokane can provide the home care services they need to remain independent, engaged, and healthy. Our professional caregivers will develop a personalized plan based on your loved one's input, lifestyle, and needs. Reach out to us today to schedule a free in-home consultation. Elderly support can be a difficult conversation to have, so our goal is to make the transition as easy as possible.